Tiny Bubbles a.k.a Brain Farts

My husband has a problem. He leaves his keys in other people’s cars.  He feels the need to take his keys with him even if he isn’t driving.  He then lays the keys in the floor of the other person’s car and then forgets them. Case in point: Graduation Day – we rode in my mother’s car. Where were his keys? In her car and they are now in Russellville over two hours away. He wanted me to call her and tell her they were in her car. I told him ‘no’, that he had to call her about it since they were his keys. I told him to have her mail them, but he said he had his spare keys so it could wait.  That was two weeks ago.  Which leads me to my next ‘Tiny Bubbles’ event.

So, last night we went to the show. In my car. When he got in the passenger side I said “did you bring your car keys? If so, don’t you dare leave them in my car. Leave them in your pocket or go put them back in the house.” He didn’t say anything.

At 8:15 AM this morning he calls my cell phone “Do you know where my car keys are?”
Me, “No! Why would I know where your car keys are? Where did you see them last?”
Him, “I had them when I came home last night.”
Me, “Home from work? or Home from the movie?”
Him, “Home from work.”
Me, “did you have them in your pocket when we went to the movie.”
Him, “Yes.”
Me, “Did you have them when we got home.”
Him, “I don’t know.”
Me, (trying not to sound more irritated than I already am.) “Have Daniel take you to work. I will check my car.” (they weren’t in my car).
I call him back, “They weren’t in my car so I can only assume they fell out of your pocket in the parking lot or in the movie or in the parking lot at Wal-Mart.” (we had to get dog food after the movie).

At this point I’m really irritated because this is a long time habit of his. His keys are lost and I have to find them for him. So, I said. “Malco opens at Noon. You’ll need to call them and tell them we were in theater 11 last night and tell them where we were sitting. See if they can find your keys. And, while we’re on the subject – this is why I tell you don’t bring your keys if you’re not driving. Do you get it yet? This is a problem for you.”
(I can’t tell you how many times I had to drive back home from work to take him his keys that he left in the side door on the floor of my car.)
Him, ” I don’t need this.”
Me, thinking, (um – apparently you do, dude!)
Him,“I’ll call the Malco at Noon and I’ll let you know if they find them.” (because since I’m the only person who always has her keys and can drive to pick them up.) “What if they don’t find them?”
Me, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait for my parents to show up in the morning.”
(they are stopping by my house on the way to visit my sister in Overland Park, KS.)
Him, “What time?”
Me, “How would I know!? She said in the morning.”
Him, “How am I suppose to go floating with Kay and Trent?” (his sister and bro-in-law)
Me, “Not my problem. I have my keys.”

About two hours later:

Husband called my cell.

Our son found his car keys.

In the pantry.

Next to the breakfast bars.


I have no idea. Don’t ask.


One Comment Add yours

  1. GypsyBiscuit says:

    Maybe he just needs to drive one of those ugly Prius hybrids… They start with a push button and don’t need keys, right?

    Or, you can make him wear them on a string around his neck like a latch-key kid.
    Even better, as Bill Engvall says, make him wear a sign around his neck so everyone can watch out!

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