What I need…..

#1:  I need less attitude from this dog!  (He talks to me when I’m late getting home.  Woo Woo!)

#2:  I need more pretty pink flowers and apparently, better aim with my camera.

#3.  I need the gophers to stop digging in my flower beds.  Die you suckers!

#4.  I need less slobber and a lot less tongue drippage from this dog.  I hate being slimed.

#5.  I need a better camera with a macro lens so I can take photos of my pretty flowers.

#6.  I need a fork lift! 

“You want me to kill the Golfers?”….Carl Spackler, Caddy Shack

Sandy: I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key…
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don’t even have to have a reason. All right, let’s do the same thing, but with gophers -!

I need Carl Spackler to come and blow up the gophers in my back yard.  No seriously! I have mound tracks all through my flower beds and in the grass.  I dream about them churning up my grass, kill the roots, eating my plants from below. And somebody tell me what the heck my dogs are doing all day while the gophers are digging away!  Oh, yeah, right………………………napping.

(Why do I hear Kenny Logins singing in my head? “I’m alright”……………)

Aspiring Gardner

I was not born with a green thumb.  Undoubtedly, I should have been given the fact that my grandfather had one of the biggest yard gardens I’ve every witnessed in my life.  But, none of the ladies in my family where big flower people.  I love flowers, outside, in summer, in pots where big dog feet cannot trample them to death. 

I slaved Saturday morning, planting a profusion of pink and white in my flower pots on my back patio.  I guess you could say it was my Mother’s Day gift to myself.  I dared to plant a few in my beds, but Gus trampled them fairly quickly.  Oh, well! I tried.  Then, I proceeded to tackle the oval bed on the right side of my driveway.  The Bermuda grass had taken over after the Japanese Maple tree died last year.  I spent 4 hours chopping and ripping my way through grass and rock and really rotten weed mat.  I paid the price.  My right hand is mangled, cuticles ripped – torn- shredded.  Blisters on first two fingers from pulling grass stalks.  My right hand looks like it was put in a paper shredder.  I should/could have worn my gardening gloves, but I haven’t any grip while wearing them so I didn’t – wear them, that is.  (Idiot! Idio! IDIOT!)  I had to cut my nails down to nothing and my hands still look wretched.  My right shoulder is killing me today.  Dang! I hate getting older.  Gardening is rough of the hands, rough on the back and shoulders and rough on the knees.  I just hope all the pain pays off in a beautiful patio “in pink” in the coming weeks. 

In the meantime, I’ll be visiting Cindy at “Cindy’s Nails” this week for a manicure and pedicure (believe me, I deserve both and need both).  They have lovely massage chairs that you sit in during the pedicure.  I’m really looking forward to that.  I’m sure Cindy will take one look at my nands and feet and say “Why you not come see me more often?”  and then scowl at me and my feet.  (and she’ll be right to do so).